“Warning: The reflections in this mirror may be distorted by socially constructed ideas of ‘beauty’.”
When I was younger, I would always be so self conscious of myself. Whether if it was my weight, my hair, my skin, whatever. I would think that there was something wrong with the way I looked, that I should try to change myself to fit society’s skewed point of view of what exactly makes a person “beautiful”.
I knew that it was what inside that counted, but like every other girl out there, when society constantly gives the impression that if you didn’t look a certain way you’re not beautiful, it’s hard not to get influenced. I would say things like “I’m so fat.” or “I hate my hair” or even “My legs look so ugly with these ant bite scars; I wish they would just go away.” I kept focusing so much on the negatives, that I completely overlooked the positives about myself. And every time I would ‘fix’ something about myself, I’d find something new that I wanted to change. I was never satisfied.
And I would never be satisfied, because as long as society’s view on beauty kept changing, so would mine. I was letting the world -people who didn’t even know me- decide who I was, and who I wanted to be. If I continued to let this happen, I would constantly be unhappy with myself and my body.
It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that I’m involved in God’s perfect plan for me. That I am beautifully and wonderfully made according to God’s will. When I realized that, all my insecurities seemed to go away because this is how God made me. If I was to look like anything else, he would have created me differently, but he found me to be perfect just the way I am. So why couldn’t I?